yellowcakewalk home

"It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, more vengeance, more desolation. War is hell." - William Tecumseh Sherman, Union General in the American Civil War (1820-1891)

See this hilarious Chickenhawks  video

Did Bush go AWOL? Find out the astonishing answer at
www.awolbush.com

The Politicians Platoon
The Barking Head Brigade

The Bureaucratic Battalion
The Chaplain Corps
The Propaganda Platoon
Sui Generis

Poor? Uneducated? Can't find a job in the Chimp Economy?
There's always room for ONE MORE just like YOU in Iraq!

Dick Cheney took his gee'tar to his Army physical and sang this little ditty, written by Phil Ochs, to his draft board:

I'm just a typical American boy from a typical Wyomin' town I believe in God and Senator Dodd and keeping ol' Castro down And when it came my time to serve I knew better dead than red But when I got to my ol' draft board, buddy, this is what I said:

CHORUS: Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen, and I always carry a purse. I got eyes like a bat, my feet are flat, and my asthma's getting worse. O think of my career, my sweetheart dear, and my poor old invalid aunt Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a goin' to school, and I'm working in a defense plant!

(2nd verse) I've got a dislocated disc and a racked up back, I'm allergic to flowers and bugs And when the bombshell hits, I get epileptic fits, and I'm addicted to a thousand drugs I got the weakness woes, and I can't touch my toes, I can hardly reach my knees And if the enemy came close to me, I'd probably start to sneeze

CHORUS:

(3rd verse) I hate Chou En Lai, and I hope he dies, but one thing you gotta see That someone's gotta go over there, and that someone isn't me So I wish you well, Sarge, give 'em Hell, Yeah, Kill me a thousand or so And if you ever get a war without blood and gore, Well I'll be the first to go...

CHORUS:

Looks like it worked! Young Dick got five (5) deferments! Phil sent Dick an invoice for a royalty payment. Dick told him to “Go [Cheney] Yourself!!!!”

Bud Light Presents, Real American Heroes
(Real American Heroes!)

Today we salute you, Mr. Conservative Chickenhawk.
(Mr. Conservative Chickenhawk!)

Nothing sticks it to the terrorists like revealing
the identity of an active CIA agent.
(We are gonna smoke ‘em out!)

With absolutely no shame, you stand tall in your
destruction of science in Kansas, even
if you haven’t graduated college.
(Preacher man say Earth only 6000 year old)

Your distinguished leader bankrupted three companies,
was a drunk until he was forty, and is, by some
standardized test results, technically retarded.
(Define Tribal Sovereignty!)

When the reason for this war turned out to be false, you
just made up another, and then another, showcasing to
the world your true talent for creativity.
(I get darn good intelligence, I mean, ... they hate freedom!)

So crack open a nice cold Bud Light Mr. Conservative
Chickenhawk! Because you were not only absent in our military,
you’re a disgrace to it
(Mr. Conservative Chickenhawk!)

yellowcakewalk home
Note: Pursuant to Title II and Title V of the Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism Act of 2001 (USA PATRIOT Act), all electronic transmissions may be monitored by numerous federal and state agencies without notice or judicial authorization.